Friday – 1^st Week of Lent

Gospel – Matthew 5:20-26

The Damage That Was Done

Caiaphas’ House

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.”

Jesus, in today’s Gospel, really raises the stakes!  It’s not just about avoiding evil.  It’s not just about doing good.  It’s also about repairing the damage, about mending fences; it’s about reconciliation.

We have all had the experience of carrying a grudge, hanging on to anger and resentment long after the deed was done.  We get angry with someone and we end up making them pay for the rest of their life.  Little slights evolve into major hurt either for ourselves or the other person.  We don’t allow them to forget and we refuse to move on. In the end, we either can’t forgive them or ourselves.  In every instance, we become ‘stuck’ and can’t move forward in life.

Some 35 years ago, I lost my best friend.  All of a sudden there was no contact, nothing at all.  Everything just stopped.  To this day, I still don’t know what happened or even whose fault it was or what perceived slight occurred.  I let it simmer and bother me for years and it was only a few years ago that I located my friend and reached out.  I wrote a letter explaining that I wanted to repair the damage.  I explained that I didn’t even remember what we fought about but, if it was in any way my fault, I was sorry and I apologize.  I still have not heard back.  Sometimes in our lives that happens.  But I take some comfort in at least trying to reconcile.  The rest is in their hands.

Jesus reminds us today that we must freely give and freely receive forgiveness.  We cannot allow something in the past to define or mire us in the past!  In this season of Lent, we are called to practices of prayer, fasting and almsgiving.  May it also be a time of reconciliation, of mending fences and relationships, of forgiving ourselves and forgiving others!